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July 6, 2014 @ 1:19 pm

Written by the Winners

The pages of history are filled with evil men hailed as heroes. The only thing separating them from those they waged war against is the fact that they "won" -- and along with that power comes the benefit of crafting your legacy for later generations to judge. While it's pretty common for us to rewrite our own memories to suit the narrative we choose to tell ourselves (I've done it quite often in this series), it's less common for that narrative to be the story of House of Cards


This one is.
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October 22, 2013 @ 8:50 pm

Stuck in the Past

Most of my waking hours are concerned with past decisions -- choices I could have made differently, or more quickly, and the various choices I would have had had I made other choices differently. Obviously, this line of thinking is pointless, considering we can't travel back in time. But "time travel" is possible, is a looser sense, such as when we encounter people who remind us of younger versions of ourselves. In those situations, the same time travel paradox presents itself: do we warn our younger selves of the struggles to come, or allow them to suffer through the trials that made us who we are today?

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August 25, 2013 @ 2:16 pm

Stealing the Girlfriend

I've reached that point in my mid-20s where most of my friends are in serious relationships. And I'm not. Besides a select few who have taken steps to maintain our friendships, most have gotten lazy about hanging out, or have become unbearable to be around... often leaving me single, friendless, and frustrated. But while I currently hate all my couple friends, I can't exactly blame them for not wanting to return to the hunt. It's a confusing, impossible process, and I've never been very good at it. This episode tells the story of a time I was so desperate for a girlfriend that I stole someone else's. 

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June 27, 2013 @ 2:47 pm

Boy Scout’s Revenge

With the Supreme Court striking down DOMA and California's Proposition 8, attitudes toward rights for homosexuals are clearly shifting. One longtime red-blooded American institution that has finally jumped on board is the Boy Scouts -- a group I spent my teenage years with, and one that just recently began permitting openly gay scouts (though not gay adult leaders). This month's episode tells a story about how easy it is for a young man to lose his humanity in the wilderness... and the destructive power of a single word.

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May 10, 2013 @ 7:22 pm

Kiss And Tell

In this episode of Evil Blond Kid, I share a story I've been hesitant to share. It's a regrettable hookup tale that should appeal to your "drunken frat guy" sensibilities, and one that's awkward enough for me to change names. Sure, a lot of guys have a story like this, but the reason I find mine worth telling is how surreal it seems to me in retrospect, like a chapter torn out of a book about someone else. Certainly a pivotal watermark on my decent into immorality.

While not definitively "explicit," this episode deals with racier subject matter than usual. I talk about adult things and use adult language. Because I'm an adult.

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April 19, 2013 @ 3:33 am

Boy Versus Cat

No topical segue this time -- just a good, action-packed story of man versus beast, and the loss of humanity paid to win the battle. While perhaps not as classic a tale as Moby Dick or as badass as Liam Neeson versus All of the Wolves, I can assure you my story is quite the nail-biter. Cat lovers beware: while I'm sure you've stood by me throughout all the horrible things I've done to elderly strangers, family members, ex-girlfriends, and God, this may be the straw that breaks the camel's back. Also, I got a new microphone, so the audio is crazy good. So good, you can hear the kitten souls flying back to heaven. Have I said too much?

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March 28, 2013 @ 11:02 pm

An Altar Boy’s Secret

Here's a story of a time the church rubbed me the wrong way -- no, not like that. On this Good Friday/Easter weekend, I tell a tale of a sinner-in-saint's-clothing who tried to cheat his way into heaven, and the system that would have let him get away with it if it weren't for some good, old-fashioned guilt.

I apologize for any audio issues with this episode. I had a few unfixable mishaps in the editing process but overall it turned out PERFECT SHUT UP.

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March 14, 2013 @ 2:00 am

Fake Online Boyfriend

This month's episode of the Evil Blond Kid podcast is perhaps my favorite one yet... maybe because I talk about one of the worst things I've ever done. If the title doesn't explain it all, it's a story about online catfishing long before we had a name for such a thing. Except unlike most catfish stories, I'm the one doing the catfishing. That, and a few other evil deeds along the way.

I've never told this story publicly before, and the people involved to this day do not know what happened. So I changed their names. I know, more lies.

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February 12, 2013 @ 8:50 pm

The Tell-Tale Blazer

A new Evil Blond Kid podcast just in time for Valentine's Day: a story of high school love, and how I sabotaged it with lies, deception, and a bit of kleptomania.

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January 23, 2013 @ 8:46 pm

The Shooter

In this Evil Blond Kid podcast, I tell the story of a time I did something most people consider to be an act of pure evil: I pointed a gun at a person and pulled the trigger.

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